God guides us, despite our uncertainties and our vagueness, even through our failings and mistakes. He leads us step by step, from event to event. Only afterwards, as we look back over the way we have come, do we experience the feeling of having been led without knowing it, the feeling that God has mysteriously guided us. --Paul Tournier
I’m not always conscious of the daily movements of Jesus in my life. In prayer, I struggle to discern between His voice and my own. Sometimes I wonder if my words go beyond the ceiling to the throne of grace even though I know Jesus is as close as my breath. I pray for His direction when what I really want is my own desire only later to be grateful that I didn’t receive what I so desperately wanted. I can get mired in these daily struggles and wonder where God is. Yet, when I remember to look back, I can see how God has been guiding me all along.
When I allow my mind to drift back, I see a young girl sitting on large stone steps of a temple. People hustle by, mostly ignoring her. By all cultural standards, this young girl didn’t measure up or have the right pedigree. Abandoned by her father, she learned to view the world through the wounds of her mother. Any applause she received for her achievements only temporarily soothed her parched soul.
Then one day, Jesus found the little girl. Even though she had heard Jesus’ name while sitting on the temple steps, she had learned to fear him. She cautiously took His hand as His kindness won her heart and followed down the stairs into an unfamiliar land. There, in the desert, His love replaced her fear and eventually, she became His bride.
I am that girl.